Ultimately

A thought…

Playing itself
out in his mind…
Like a small ball
continually bounced
back and forth.

He tired to erase it…

But it seemed the harder he tried,
the stronger the thought became.

It had exhausted him for days…
Rendered him
sleepless…Left him
with a an ache
in the pit of his stomach.

Why was it that this
one action
was so difficult?
He was a grown man…
Had seen and done much
during the course of
his life.

He swallowed hard…

Took a deep breath…

Now
making a conscious effort
to allow himself to
contemplate the thought…

To ponder the words…

To slowly say them
out loud…

“I’m sorry.”

He shuddered at the sound of his own voice
as the words escaped from his lips…
Ultimately deciding his pride
far more important.

Crosses

Here, beneath summer showers,
Where lilac's scent and thoughts
Hang heavy, he gathers memories
Of the not so distant past –

Faces, places, voices
He wishes he had long
Ago forgotten.

Yet, they drone on –
Like the beat of a drummer
In a marching band,
Continually tapping the same
Monotonous rhythm with each
Step he takes.

He ponders choices –
Good, bad, indifferent –
They were his to make.

But, these thoughts –
These memories that
Plague him, are what
Affect him most –

For often he feels –
In some strange, twisted
Way – they have chosen him –
Now, his cross to carry.